Order of the Golden Sprout The New Robert Rankin Fan Club

I'm not sure what H.G Wells was intending with this book. As science fiction, it's rather poor. As a story, it's a bit of a 'Boy's Own' adventure. As a satire of the archetypal 'Brit abroad' and social comment, it's rather enjoyable, I'm just not entirely sure that was Well's intention.

Mr Cavor, a scientist, invents a substance that negates gravity and builds a sphere that will travel to the moon. Unfortunately, he takes Mr Bedford, a failed entrepreneur with him which causes no end of problems. Mr Cavor is seeking knowledge while Mr Bedford is seeking wealth and it is Mr Bedford who narrates the story

Upon arrival, they mislay the sphere, get drunk, attack the locals and wake up in jail. The prediction of the state of the moon is way off the mark, but he's got a modern holiday in Ibiza spot on. The two men then spend the rest of their time squabbling among themselves and abusing the locals as stupid because they are incapable of understanding simple pidgin English expressions such as 'Me look 'im, me think 'im very much. Yes', no doubt spoken slowly and loudly.

Unfortunately communications break down further and they start fighting with the locals, during which time, Mr Bedford finds that the Selenite physique is so weak that he can kill with a punch. Upon discovering this woeful physical disadvantage, Mr Bedford has no other option but to do what any well bred Englishman would do, he initiates a massacre. Also, upon finding that the moon is rich in gold, he vows to return to the moon with assistants and guns and take on the Selenites on 'equal terms'. I was reminded of the scene in Black Adder Goes Forth when he saves Field Marshal Douglas Haig who was nearly killed by a pygmy woman with a sharpened mango.

They escape and Mr Bedford makes it back to the sphere and to earth but Mr Cavor does not. Upon returning to earth, Mr Bedford gets himself some breakfast while a small boy enters the sphere and sends himself to certain death in space. Mr Bedford is briefly concerned until he realizes that they'll never connect him to the boy's disappearance and so settles down to a nice cigar and a kip.

The only really interesting part of the book comes at the end when Mr Cavor, now thankfully parted from Mr Bedford makes contact with the selenites and is able to transmit information about them back to earth.

It is odd that Bedford is the narrator, as I felt no sympathy or liking for him at any point in the book. In fact it is he that spoils it all and turns it into a chase and fight rather than a meeting of alien species. My sympathies were with Cavor whose plans for making friendly contact were ruined by Bedford. The worth of this book is more in its social comment on the fitness of humans to make alien contact than in it's scientific and invented contents.