Where's your Toot?
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The screen in front of me reflects a darkly lit yet incredibly handsom man. He has the gothic jawline of Depp with the rogueish twinkle of Clooney in the one eye that can still see straight. (although without the expert opinion of a qualified optical specialist even that eye may be slightly off).
No matter. I come before you all, no sniggering at the back please, to remind you of why you all came before me.(and it wasn't just because it was your turn!)
I thought I'd found a wealth of street writers who worship the urban god of letters! Yet I find a load of once were satirists, none of whom are in the pub!
You complain and stress about what is a good looking site with all of the whistles and bells, which shout 'ALARUM' to the Soul that once entertained and spilled our whit and our fundement over the moist biscuit of normality, as is generally accepted.
So I ask of you men and women and gays, (no offence but homosexual or gender undefined are all too much to type) what are we here for if not to chew Salinger's cud or to show Ronnie Scott what Toot is all about or to tell some stormtroopers that these are not the droids they are looking for?
Parlais, or there will be no more voice from The Shadow.(unless Hank Marvin shows up again,bloody killjoy!)
The toot is in the members' section oh gothic jawline of Depp with the rogueish twinkle of Clooney in the one eye that can still see straight. 
And hello to you too
Oh, right, sorry. I'll look in there then.
The Shadow will not be silenced through complicated navigational errors.
To avoid such cataclysm, could anyone point me in the direction of the Gents, only I really need to go. Thanks.
23rd door on the left...
Thanks for that particular Prime directive. Though The Shadow appreciates all considered courtesy he wouldn't mind a warning or two about wet floors for one and he could have been told to look out for garish wall hangings that are not a hand drier. These simple guidelines are of great and significant importance to The Shadow. Fortunately there were no witnesses to the scene after the master of suave slipped on a wet patch inside the 23rd door on the left and could have been a hit on Utube if filmed trying to dry his crotch up against a Phillipe Starke soap dispenser. We think we got away with it and woe betide anyone if we didn't! Yes that is a threat. Oh, and by the way, not all people who talk about themselves in the third person are wankers. Thanks all the same for the directions, your a life saver. Until the next time... Shadow out.
Deep, you wag! That's the third guy you've directed into the ladies' toilet.
'Scuse me, I have a video to edit for Utube.
You mean they're nou unisex?
I'll go re-set the camcorder for the next vict.... newbie
No they're not but with your hair, you were getting away with it. (Though I was telling everyone that the beard was down to a hormone problem).
Just one thing, will you PLEASE stop using the sink!
There's a sink in there?
As for the beard, you should see my twin sister:
There's a sink in there?
Oh dear, are we going to have to break it to The Shadow that the puddle on the floor was not in fact water?
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